How To

[Luckyv2]

That is what I would like to know is how to do it? I mean a relationship. Most of my life as I reflect I might be alone here but sex was always the relationship most of the time before I even got to know anyone really well. Which of course once the sexual part is offered there is nothing left. I am well aware that the main thing in a relationship is to build it up through communication and friendship first. That is a good lesson to learn. But .....

How do you know when to say to someone....You know I really like you and I would like to start seeing you on a different level. However I don't want to jump from the friendship to having sex, etc. Not sure if I know how the step process on this works and obviously I don't or I wouldn't be here voicing this.

It is hard to learn the way in which to live and I think that most everyone has different ideas on what that way is or should be. I know that I do....I have two different life styles that I have lived and one of them is just the shits. LOL I don't need to go there at all. So today I am looking and walking I hope a different road and in that road I find many holes. I guess I am just rambling but really HOW TO DATE would be my question or to ask for the fear of being turned down.

[Jim6763nva]

Lucky, Believe me, I completely understand where you are coming from. I wish I had a solid answer for you though. I'm pretty much in the same boat so to speak and seemed to follow the same path in my dating experiences. I met my ex-wife when she and I were kids and still in elementary school. Granted at the time we didn't know what the future was going to bring but we continued to forge a friendship and being that we were kids we had to wait to see where things went. We didn't really start "dating" until she and I were 17. It wasn't till after we got married that everything changed. I was in the Navy and out to sea for about 3 years of our marriage. We were married only 3 and a half years.

I think as adults we hunger for that initmacy and closeness, but we need to get ahold of our primal instincts and look back at the innocences of our childhood friendships and crushes. Take time to get to know someone as a person before jumping in the sack. I'll admit it can be hard at times especially when flirting goes to far. I'm the kinda person that tends to wear my heart on my shirt sleeve too.

The other thing I've noticed that when a couple gets into a relationship and they play these "relationship guessing games", it tends to leave one or both sides in the dark and becomes extremely frustrating. Honesty is a very important part here but there runs a risk when one side or the other is head over heads with a bad case of the "likes", if you know what I mean.

Anyway to sum it up I guess, we have to rely on our own intuition and just have a good time. Chemistry does play a big part in it too as well as first impressions. I think if you meet someone online that you have an interest in, the exchange of recent photos is a must, not photos from yesteryear and especially not glamor shots. :huh: If the photos work out, ya might consider chatting via webcam before meeting in person.

I think you get the idea.. so I'm gonna stop rambling too.. lol What are your thoughts on all this?

Jim